Race for Life 10K

Cancer, we're coming to get you! It’s no secret that 1 in 3 people are affected by cancer. That’s you, your lover or your best mate. Chances are, at some point it’ll getcha...If it hasn’t already that is. Maybe I’m being too dark, but there’s no point covering it in jelly beans.

I’m running 10k. For anybody who knows me, knows that the only exercise I get is walking to the bus stop, to sit behind a desk and eat my body weight in pitta breads. I’m putting on those running shoes and taking to the street, doing by squat thrusts and star jumps, getting my sweat on.

All I’m asking from you is to donate the price of a drink. If you go out this Friday and get the drinks in, why not drink one less and donate what you would spend to Cancer research UK? If you love the ones you’re with, what’s stopping you? 

Raceforlifesponsorme.org/rubyjohnson

John Grant - Rough Trade 12/03/13

Went to see the American musician John Grant with my girl tonight.  I'd never heard him before but she loves him...

He was amazing! What a brillo pad. He's playing at Heaven in Charing Cross tomorrow, so get yourself down.

Finnished off the night with a Brick Lane curry. Am now full and happy, which is weird for a tuesday.

Percy Daltons Peanut Factory

On the walk from my flat to my girlfriend's. This factory is where my Dad lived as a young artist. Way back when you could live off peanuts in London.

Tales of Tremendous Tragicide.

Its official. I'm a published writer.

I haven't posted on here in an age.. 

And a think a lot has happened since I was living in Bow on jobseekers, single and...'penniless' 

The biggest change in my life is that I have a cat. Obviously I'm at a prime age for childbearing, but I thought the responsibility of cat would be enough for now. Practice...if you will. 

He's called Ravi and I pure love him. 

I now work for the man. The man being Boris Johnson. This picture is taken from an article called 'Why Boris Should never be PM' Poor BJ. I Believe in you!

The Great British public are a right load of fuckers aren't they. The amount of grief I get from declining a refund of about a quid.. Trust, I've been called everything under Boris' mop. (Which is representative of the sun..) Oh I answer complaint letters for Transport for London. Mostly people winging about how useless the system is in London. I tell thee, go live tup North, where a bus might come once an hour. These Londoners don't know they're born! 

hahah I just farted and Ravi jumped a foot. Sorry Rav Pot. 

I've had a girlfriend for 6 months. She's a gem. This is us on a ferry in Istanbul. 

We went to Istanbul because it's nice to get out of one capital city in to another.

 '4 lira! 4 lira!' <---That's a private joke. We have those cos we're dead cute. 


I have another job, cos I'm a chip off the old block..a workaholic. My second job isn't really 'work' though. I take a boy with autism to a different museum every Saturday. So far we've covered the Science Museum, the Transport Museum and the Natural History museum. (which is my fave) I love it so much. The blue wale is the wallpaper on my phone..Don't know why I shared that. So yeah, he's a sweetypie. 

I bought a Primavea ticket yesterday! Mega excited to be at a festival in something other than wellies and a rain coat, drinking a ridiculous amount to not feel the weather anymore. At primavera I will drink because a warm lagar is what one needs on a hot day.

Just enjoying a glass of wine, then I'm gonna have a bath and get ready for bed. Its 21:10 on a Friday night. Is this what a Friday night looks like now?..When did that happen?

How ridiculous are sexually frustrated drunk teenage boys?

'Yes me and my girlfriend are necking because we're gay. And no, you can’t join in’

The amount of creepers asking questions, as though they'd never seen a same sex couple sucking face before in East London is surprising. It’s crammed full of freaks and 'alternatives'. The East End is pretty much a free for all. Nobody looks twice when we walk round Shoreditch hand in hand, sober, in the middle of the day. What is it about liquor that makes them so darn curious? If they’re out on the pull, do they think their best chance is with a lesbian couple? Does it look like we’re into men? Bizarre.

I've never seen or heard of a girl approaching a male couple and asking for a threesome. 99% of the time guys are wonderful. But the 1%...I don't know how they dare be so creepy. Thinking about it, on the same night we saw another lesbian couple, who looked obviously gay, a ten yard lesbian if you will. And nobody approached them. Maybe because we looked feminine, and perhaps ‘straight?’ guys thought we were doing it to get attention, because some hetero girls do get with their pals to pull the lads. Frustrating, we shouldn’t have to butch it up to have a good pervert-free time.

There’s a saying I've seen floating around the internet. 'Yes we are, no you can't watch.' We're not here for your entertainment. Period.

Secret Lives of the Fictional ‘Lesbian’

There are three possible judges of a literary character, the writer, the reader and (if you will let your imagination stretch) the character itself. Everybody reads a text differently and who is to say who is right or wrong when interpreting literature?

I like to think that characters have lives separate to the stories they are performing in...Charlotte Lucas, in Jane Austen’s novel Pride and Prejudice is driven in to marriage by money, not love. She marries Collins for financial security. She states that she isn’t ‘romantic’. I’m interpreting this (because I can) as she doesn’t desire the affections of men; and in fact the only person she is portrayed as having any deep emotion for is Lizzie Bennet. Marrying Lizzie’s cousin even means she will become Mistress of Longbourne when Mr.Bennet dies. Charlotte’s marriage puts her in control of Lizzie’s life, should she never marry. They will remain connected and Lizzie will always need her.  Sneaky little lesbian.

Charlotte doesn’t desire men, so she was simply seen as unromantic. The question of her in fact desiring women, is, as I can see, constantly being questioned in the shadows…There was no word to describe homosexuals in the regency period. So I’m assuming that even though it was blatantly there it wasn’t spoken of or understood..? Of course the fiction of Sarah Walters’s challenges yesteryear’s women. Especially her novel’s The Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet. The work of Walters forces me to question just how open minded our female ancestors really were? Were they as gentile as Austen depicts? I hope not, I like to think that Mary Bennet enjoyed a bit of S&M, Lady Catherine de Bourgh had an excrement fetish And Charlotte Lucas only encouraged Mr. Collins to spend time out of the house so that she could enjoy female callers. 

All we have to do is read The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister to get a picture of how it was to be a lesbian before women wore trousers. There is no interpretation needed. Lister, perhaps for her own protection, wrote her diaries in code which have taken years to decipher. They aren’t ambiguous; she is honest about who she is and who she loves. I hope that Miss. Lucas eventually met a Miss. Lister and that she whisked her away from her droll cottage with her silly husband.